Way too fat

It is a selfpotrait of me, and also a very very realistic one, it was too realistic for me to put it up with no censoring, so I had to put those black lines there so that people wouldn't see me naked...

But you people can see my belly which is the point of the picture, small boobs but too big belly, too much fat and too unhealthy skintone. I do not feel beautiful. The only way I can make myself feel pretty is to wear a 50's style dress which gives me a waist and hides my belly and butt, but if I wear something normal like jeans, I just hate how I look.

And in this picture you see what I see when I sit on my computer after shower when I look down on me.

The reason I did this picture is not just to complain or to ask people for help in my situation, no. The reason is that I know there's people who think like me, that there's others who look at themselves and feel that they're not beautiful and that makes me sad. I can live with me not being beautiful, but I want everyone else to feel like they're all pretty. So instead of trying to lose weight and getting an eating disorder, I draw this and try to look at myself differently. I do not try to draw me from an angle where I'd look skinnier, I draw myself from the angle where I look as fat as I can look and then I try to accept it. This is how I look and I have to love it. If my looks change, it's okay, but I don't have to change them in order to love me.

Please, if you feel like you're ugly and too fat or something, don't try to change how you feel about yourself by changing you. You first need to love you and if you still want to change, gain more weight, lose some weight, anything, then you can do it. But don't try to change so that you could love yourself.

So I'm going to stop this ranting and start learning how to love my fat belly and huge butt. I hope everyone will try to do the same. And remember, this is all just my take on this whole matter of how to love me, you all can have your own opinions.

More pictures of the same subject:


Done with photoshop CS5, my first real digital painting.
Art and me © Me

First sketch of this picture's here.